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10 November 2017

How To Survive Moving Back Home With Your Parents


A month before I moved back home officially, I sat on my bed in my childhood room and cried. I was visiting for the weekend and knew, the next time I was coming back, it would be for a lot longer than ever originally planned

Moving back home is hard. It's hard for you, it's hard for your parents, and it's hard for your siblings if you haven't been around much. I had a sudden 'oh my god what am I doing' moment, on that Friday night in July, when the realisation of living at home for the first time in 4 years finally sunk in.

There are different pressures which cause people us to pack our bags and move back home, but rarely is it a choice we want to make. Sometimes you have to move because there's literally nothing else you can do and you need to find a job. Other times, you might just need to save up money or maybe you've found your dream job in the city you live and it's just easier.

It's nearly two months since I moved back home to join the Dodd family household in Dorset, a decision I made after university so I could save up as much as possible to go travelling. And although there have been moments, the truth is, it's not nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

The first thing is to remember, is this is your family home. Whilst it might be your temporary settlement, it's your parents home and as an adult, you can't expect to live the same lifestyle as a university student.

On that note, going back to live with your parents as an adult means the dynamic is going to change. Gone are the days of arguing over bedtimes and here are the arguments of who's contributing the most to bottles of friday fizz. Instead of adults and children in the house, you may be going back into a house of all adults, and that is a very different dynamic to the one you left. You may find you get on better than when you were seventeen, so it's not all bad.

There's nothing worse than moving back into a noughties reminder of the life you left behind. A bedroom plastered with 1D posters might be okay for the summer, but you don't want to move back into it as a full-time adult. Take the time when you first move in, to makeover your childhood bedroom. That's the best thing I did to keep me feeling 22 instead of 12.

It's probably on your agenda, but the sooner you get a job, the better. Having a structure to your day, and not being under each others feet day in day out will do wonders to the mood of yourself, and the other members of your family. They've got to get used to you too, and you lazing around whilst they all go out to work will definitely cause a bit of animosity - best to find a purpose as quickly as possible.

If you have a plan, the time is bound to go faster. Being in a kind-of limbo is extremely hard, especially if you're job hunting and don't know how long it's going to take you to find a job. Give yourself goals to help speed the whole thing up, a goal for when you'll get your first job, a goal for how much money you'll put aside each week, and a maximum-time you want to spend living under your parents roof.

Remember, at the end of the day, they're still your parents. However much you may have grown, or however many years it's been, you're still their child. You may have to tell people where you're going after work, or your plans for the weekend, but you also get food on the table, a bed to climb into at the end of the day and people who care enough to worry. So give them a break.

There's a big taboo of moving back in with your parents, but it's the reality a lot of people in their 20's have to face, particularly after university. Sometimes it's the best option, and just remember as hard as it is for you, it'll be hard for them too.

I hope you've all had fantastic weeks!

Love, Alice x

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