I'm going to be real younger Alice, 16 is not the most glamorous age. Fuelled by getting drunk on Strongbow and falling deeply in love with upper sixth boys who have no idea who you are. But it gets easier, you get to know yourself better, and it turns out you're definitely not as bad at general life as you think you are.
You don't grow out of your clumsiness though. Turns out that's just you, not a growth spurt.
Sixth form is just around the corner and I wish I could prepare you for the terrible life choice of Philosophy A Level. You should've stuck out French. You're good at French. And 20 year old you is moving to France 3 days before her 21st, so it would've been dead handy. Luckily, your teacher is a fitty so despite pretty much failing it, you have the excitement of being greeted in the corridor for the next 2 years.
First piece of serious life advice, get out of the horrible, toxic friendship group you're currently in. Friends don't make wobbling noises when you walk around the classroom, refuse to talk to you in the corridor, or stand you up at prom. The girls you're friends with will end up for the most part, with only each other. And you don't want to get bogged down in all that crap. You don't realise it at the moment, but they're responsible for a lot of your self-hate, and that will take years to figure out, I'm still doing it now, so do yourself a favour and go and find your real friends asap. They make fun of you for having a blog but will still pose for blog photos when you ask, that's the kind of friends you want, trust me.
Secondly, stop hating unchangeable things about your body and get to the gym instead. Your nose is not going to shrink and you won't get 3inches knocked off your height. But please do yourself a favour and please get rid of the tights/shorts combination. Also the black eyeliner all across your waterline. There are so many terrible appearance life choices ahead of you. I'm happy to report you've grown into your dress sense now. And although it's incomprehensible at the moment, you totally embrace your height. The boys will get their growth spurt soon and it's all good- no more towering above them.
Questionable life choices made by you over the next 12 months:
1) The nine hundred pound phone bill.
2) Sneaking off to Kent to see a boy without telling anyone.
3. Your prom dress- strapless dresses are not for those of bigger bust.
4) Dying your hair red. Less Cheryl Cole and more Trollz doll.
5) Refusing to go to Scouting for Girls with your parents. You loved them. And you regret it to this day.
Great life choices made by you over the next 12 months:
1) Putting aside the hatred for Emily in the year above, she may have dated the boy you fancy but she's actually your soulmate so the sooner you become friends the better.
2) Getting a job in the Olympic Village, because nothing's better than being paid to stare at and talk to attractive athletes.
3) Staying friends with people outside of your friendship group, school is cliquey but now you have friends in all forms, and it's great.
4) Getting a Blackberry, that little badger was a cracking phone and probably lasted longer than all of its successors put together.
5) Creating a Tumblr. Who knew you'd still be friends with most of the people you met through it? Also, you're not that cool in real life.. so at least you're cool on the internet.
I would tell you to stop wasting time on boys, and start knuckling down in your studies, because you chose to stay on at school, and now you've chosen to go to university. But I know 25 year old me would say the same to 20 year old me, so I don't want to be too hypocritical. Boys are nice, and revision is not, I totally get ya.
You've got at least 5 years ahead of mistakes and boyfriends (usually mistakes in the form of boyfriends). And the people you meet in the next 5 years have so far had the most impact, you travel Europe and move towns, in fact you move countries. Ciao Italia!
Being 16 is hard, growing up and finding your footing is not to be underestimated. You're still doing it now. Just remember it's important to sometimes put yourself first, make choices for yourself, not for anybody else. Maybe remind your 20 year old self of that too occasionally.
Ciao for Now!